French Fries and Faith: Navigating Picky Eating with My Autistic Son

By Charlene Pinnock

If you come to my house and look in the freezer—or the fryer—you’ll quickly learn one thing: Marcus loves French fries. And not just any fries. He eats organic frozen fries that I have to search multiple stores to find. Or the ones I cut myself from organic potatoes and cook in my at-home French fry machine.

That’s one of maybe two things he’ll eat.

The other? A very specific pizza—from one pizza shop, and one shop only. You could bring a pizza that looks the same, smells the same, even comes in the same kind of box. If it’s not that pizza? He’s not touching it.

And just when I finally get a rhythm going, stocked up on fries and a couple slices ready to go, Marcus will wake up one day, look at the same food he loved yesterday—and completely reject it.

Just like that, the cycle resets.

It’s More Than Being “Picky”

Growing up in Jamaica, I was raised hearing, “Give him what you cook—him will eat when him hungry,” or “Yuh spoil him too much.” But parenting a child with autism has taught me that this isn’t about pickiness or stubbornness.

It’s about sensory processing.

Children on the autism spectrum often experience food through texture, smell, color, and temperature in a way most of us don’t fully understand. What feels or tastes “right” today can feel completely “off” tomorrow—and there’s no explaining why.

For Marcus, eating is about comfort, routine, and trust.

If the food doesn’t meet those needs—even if he’s hungry—he simply won’t eat.

The Emotional Weight Parents Carry

I can’t tell you how many days I’ve stood in the kitchen near tears—not from the heat of the stove, but the fear that Marcus might not eat anything at all.

As a mother, it’s hard not to feel anxious when your child eats so little. It’s hard not to take it personal when they push away a plate you put time and love into preparing. And it’s especially hard when the food that was a “yes” for weeks suddenly becomes a firm “no.”

There’s no warning. No explanation. Just a silent refusal that leaves you scrambling—again.

What’s Helped Me Survive These Moments

Here’s what I’ve learned in my journey with Marcus and his eating habits:

• Respect his “safe foods.” If fries and a specific pizza are what work, that’s okay. It’s nourishment and comfort.
• Introduce new foods slowly and without pressure. I’ll place something unfamiliar near his fries—not expecting him to eat it, just letting it be there.
• Keep a log. I write down what he eats, how it’s prepared, and how long it lasts before he stops liking it. It helps me spot patterns.
• Stay ahead with supply. If only one store sells his fries, I call ahead or buy in bulk if I can.
• Be resourceful. When stores ran out of organic fries, I bought a French fry machine and started cutting and frying organic potatoes myself. It takes more time, but it’s worth it for peace of mind.
• Add a daily multivitamin. To ease my worries and make sure Marcus is still getting the nutrients he needs, I include a multivitamin as part of his daily routine. It helps me rest a little easier on the days when his food intake is limited.
• Watch for surprising wins. Every now and then, Marcus will surprise me. There are days when he suddenly craves bananas—and when he does, he’ll eat several at once! I celebrate those moments, because they remind me that variety can happen in its own time.

I know it may look like Marcus eats mostly “junk food” to others, but I want to be clear: this is not about giving in—it’s about tuning in. I work hard to make those few accepted foods as safe and healthy as possible. Every choice I make comes from love, wisdom, and knowing what my son can handle right now.

To the Parent Who’s on Their Last Nerve at Mealtime

If your child will only eat one or two things and everyone around you is saying, “They’ll eat when they’re hungry,” please know: you are not doing anything wrong.

This is not about spoiling.
This is not about control.
This is about survival—for you and for your child.

You are doing what it takes to make sure your child feels safe, supported, and nourished.
And that makes you brave.

Final Thoughts from My Kitchen to Yours

There are no “normal” meals in my home, and I’ve made peace with that. What matters is that Marcus eats, that he feels calm and in control, and that I continue learning his rhythm—even when it changes without notice.

So if today it’s fries and pizza, that’s okay.
Tomorrow might bring something different. Or not.
Either way, we’ll figure it out. Like we always do.

Because this journey isn’t about feeding a child the “right” foods.
It’s about feeding them with patience, understanding, and love.

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