Marcus recently started back with services, working again with his RBT. Since the beginning, I’ve noticed an escalation in certain behaviors — more frequent headbutting, dropping to the ground, running away from activities, and even throwing objects like crayons when he becomes frustrated.
At first, it was discouraging. I wondered if something had gone wrong — if I had missed something or done something differently that caused this shift. But through experience, I’ve learned to pause and remind myself: behavior is communication.

For Marcus, these behaviors happen when he’s being prompted to do something he doesn’t want to do or when he’s asked to wait. Waiting is extremely hard for him right now. Even short moments can feel endless, and that frustration builds until it spills out through his actions.
But I also know this isn’t just my story. There are parents reading this right now who are facing even bigger challenges — more intense behaviors, more sleepless nights, more days when you feel like you’ve tried everything and nothing seems to work.
To you, I want to say this from the bottom of my heart: you are not alone.

When the World Feels Too Big

For our children, everyday moments can sometimes feel like a storm. What looks simple to others — transitioning to a new task, entering a noisy room, or being told “wait a minute” — can feel like too much for their senses and emotions to process all at once.
When Marcus drops to the floor, it’s his way of saying, “I need a break.” When he runs away from the playroom, he’s saying, “I can’t do this right now.” And when he throws a box of crayons, it’s not defiance — it’s a cry for help, a plea for understanding in a world that sometimes moves faster than he can handle.

And maybe your child does something similar — maybe they scream when the sound is too loud, hide when a stranger enters the room, or lash out when you least expect it. I know those moments can be exhausting, isolating, and even heartbreaking.
But behind every behavior, there’s always a message. Our children are trying to tell us what they can’t yet put into words.

Why Patience Is So Hard — for Them and for Us

Children on the spectrum often struggle with patience because waiting means uncertainty. They may not fully understand when something will happen, and that feeling of not knowing can be overwhelming. For Marcus, that’s one of his biggest triggers — waiting.

And for us as parents, waiting for progress can be just as hard. We want change now. We want calm now. But the truth is, our children teach us that progress comes slowly — through understanding, not punishment; through consistency, not control.
It takes strength to stay calm when your child is melting down. It takes courage to start every day believing that things can get better, even when the last one left you in tears.

If you’ve ever sat on the floor beside your child — crying quietly while they scream, wondering if anyone truly understands — I want you to know: I’ve been there. And I know how heavy that love can feel sometimes.

What Helps — and What Heals

Over time, I’ve learned what helps Marcus and what gives him peace. And while every child is different, these are the principles that have worked for us and for many families I’ve spoken to:

1. Slow down the prompting.

Give your child extra seconds to process directions. Sometimes, silence is more powerful than repetition.

2. Use visuals to reduce anxiety.

Picture schedules, timers, or “first–then” cards (for example, First color, then play) can turn confusion into clarity.

3. Offer choices, not ultimatums.

Even small choices — “Do you want blue or red?” — can make your child feel seen and respected.

4. Watch for sensory triggers.

Notice if bright lights, loud noises, or certain textures make things harder. Adjust what you can.

5. Stay calm and model peace.

Our children feed off our energy. When we stay calm, we show them safety.

6. Remember consistency builds trust.

Share what works at home with teachers or therapists, so your child experiences the same calm approach everywhere.

Recognizing “Can’t” vs. “Won’t”

When a child’s behavior challenges us, it’s easy to think they won’t follow directions. But often, they simply can’t — not yet.
They may not have the words, the emotional regulation, or the sensory balance to meet that moment.
When Marcus runs or throws things, I remind myself: he isn’t choosing to fail; he’s struggling to cope.
And that truth changes everything.

Parent Tip of the Week

When your child acts out, try asking yourself, “What are they trying to tell me?”
The answer may not come right away, but every time you pause to listen, you’re helping your child feel understood.

From My Heart to Yours

If you’re reading this feeling tired, discouraged, or unsure what tomorrow will bring — I see you. I may not know your exact struggle, but I know the courage it takes to keep showing up, even when you don’t have all the answers.
Some days, progress looks like a single calm moment. Other days, it looks like just surviving until bedtime. But through it all, you are doing something extraordinary — you’re loving your child through challenges that most people will never understand.
And that love, that patience, that faith — that’s what makes all the difference.

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