In our home, you’ll often find little reminders of Marcus’s curiosity—leaves pulled from my plants, bottles tipped over, or cups of water spilled across the counter. At first glance, these things can look like accidents or mischief. But over time, I’ve come to see them as part of Marcus’s way of exploring the world.
Marcus, my son who is on the autism spectrum, isn’t trying to be destructive. He’s communicating. His hands and his senses are his tools for learning, and every spill or torn leaf is his way of saying, “I’m curious. I want to understand.”
Children on the spectrum often explore through their senses. For Marcus, ripping leaves isn’t about ruining my plants—it’s about the feel, the sound, and the sight of something changing in his hands. Pouring out water or lotion isn’t wasteful in his mind—it’s soothing, calming, and deeply satisfying.
What looks like a mess is, for him, a form of self-regulation and discovery.
I’ll admit, there are moments when I feel that pang of frustration. I put care into my plants, into keeping things in order, only to see them undone in seconds. But I’ve learned to pause and reframe the moment: What is Marcus seeking? What need is he meeting?
That simple shift—from frustration to curiosity—has helped me see his behaviors less as problems, and more as opportunities to guide him toward safer, healthier ways of exploring.
If you’re facing similar challenges at home, here are a few approaches that may help:
Marcus teaches me daily that what looks like destruction often has a deeper purpose. His actions aren’t about defiance—they’re about expression, regulation, and curiosity.
It doesn’t mean I allow him to do anything he wants. It means I try to understand the why behind his actions and then channel that need in a way that’s safe and positive.
Children on the spectrum may explore the world in ways that look messy to us—but behind those behaviors are needs waiting to be met, lessons waiting to be learned, and opportunities for us as parents to grow in patience and creativity.
Marcus may not interact with the world the way I expect, but he’s teaching me something far greater: that growth is not about having a perfect home, but about seeing curiosity as communication and meeting it with understanding. 💙
My name is Charlene Pinnock**, and I’m the founder of *WeAre Autism*—a platform I created out of love for my son Marcus, who is on the autism spectrum. As a mother, advocate, and writer, I share educational articles based on my lived experiences, cultural background, and the everyday lessons I learn while raising a neurodivergent child. My goal is to support and empower other parents and caregivers, especially within the Jamaican community, by offering real stories, practical tips, and encouragement. You're not alone on this journey—and if no one else says it, I will: you're doing an amazing job.
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